New Year's resolution

Every year I make a list of resolutions...and then I always lose it lol. Here are some resolutions and goals I would like to accomplish:

*Finish freshmen year of college
*Apply to the nursing program
*Lost 30 pounds (that would be nice if I could)
*Visit my twin in MN
*Read my scriptures EVERY night
*Go to church more on Sundays
*Get a 4.0 for Spring and Fall semester
*Create new friendships
*Make new friendships
*Mend old friendships
*Help others more

2011 has been a great year! Friends have come and gone unfortunately. My family has continued to grow as well. I have met some of the most wonderful people there are. The Alleman family as well as my roommates just to name a few. Larisa continues to be there for me too! I can't wait for 2012 to come around!

Good Times in 2011

This year has been a whirlwind! It seems like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating the beginning of 2011! This year has been an amazing year. I ended on chapter in life (graduating from high school) to beginning a new chapter (college)! It's all been so great! I am ready for 2012! And to make more memories with those I care about!

First semester...DONE

I finally finished my first semester of college!!! It's so thrilling! I got all A's in all of my classes and I love it. I love the academic part as well as the social part! Some of the best moments are when I was studying like crazy for a chem exam and we all decide to go ice skating instead. Or when the teacher called me a *bad word* in a joking way because I forgot to write down what was going to be on the final :-) I love it at Westminster. I may never return back to Washington. I love it here too much. We shall see :)

Future Plans

Once I get out of this rough spot I plan on doing sooo much in life! I'm going to make the best out of the situation I am in right now and hope and pray that things will work out for the better.

Once I get things sorted out and me on the correct path here is what I plan on doing...

Getting baptized into the LDS church. It's the only religion I have ever really known and I believe in it whole heartedly.

Seeing the Temple.

I plan on graduating from Westminster College in 2015

Getting my degree in Nursing...Neonatal Nursing

Finding a job as a neonatal nurse.

Marrying the man of my dreams who makes me very happy.

Starting a family.

Moving into our dream house- maybe not this one.

Adopting children. Either within America or Internationally. Doesn't matter :-)

Traveling the World. 

There are soo many things I want to do in life. These are just a few :-)

What Happened???

Around this time of year I get pretty gloomy. Don't know why. Maybe it's the lack of sunshine or something. Or being trapped inside a house all day. IDK. It wasn't too bad til about two years ago. Two years ago I started burning my arms with erasers. It's hard to describe but I was physically able to feel pain when I did that. Especially in the showers every morning when the burns stung the most. Being able to fell physical pain made up for all the emotional pain I was feeling. This pain was tangible whereas the other was not. It only lasted for about two months, then I got some help from the school counselor. I was better then. Then she left my senior year. I made it a whole year without burning. I was preoccupied with scholarships and college and a brighter future. But then I went to college. What was I supposed to do to keep my mind off of things? I burned once. I don't want to burn again. It leaves ugly scars but I sincerely feel like I need to.

Without the burn marks...and with really short hair.

With a bandage for the newest burn... left arm.

I owe a huge thank you to my best friend, Larisa Hayden. She helped me through this hard time quite a bit. I didn't tell her right away what was happening. She knows me so well she figured it out.

Over this summer I lost some pretty good friends. Differences in opinions and different priorities as well as different schools does that. Unfortunately. We kind of still talk but not really. I lost another really good friend. One I have known since I was six. There is not going back on that one. Period.

I sincerely miss these two... Lauren(right) I have accepted that she and I are better off not being friends. We were trying to make a friendship out of oil and water. Cheyenne... I haven't given up on her yet.

What did I do wrong? The common factor has been me... :'-( I don't try and push people away. Sometimes I push myself away from them but I don't want to push them away from ME. I just feel sad all the time now. It's no fun. New pathways I have chosen to take, some of them scary and some of them are my dreams. It just sometimes feels like it's either just me walking alone or it's my fault for someone else's pain. So, I am sorry if I have ever said, done or whatever to anyone. I really did not mean to hurt you...

Tiff and Ty...I especially never meant to hurt you guys. You and your family mean too much to me. And it's killing me that you might be another friend I might lose :'-( I'm sorry!!! Please forgive me!!!

I'm thankful for...

Around this time of year I begin to think more about what I am thankful for. Especially on Thanksgiving Day. I would have posted this on Thanksgiving day but I was out of town having way to much fun :-)

I'm thankful for...
1) My family. As much as they drive me crazy, without them I wouldn't be where I am today.
2) The Alleman family! I spent Thanksgiving with them this year and it was such a blast! They are basically another extension the my HUGE family. And Tiff's turkey was delicious!
3) School. I love school and being able to go to college.
4) My roommates. I was blessed this year to have such wonderful roommates.
5) Larisa Hayden- I don't know what to say about her besides the fact that she is the best best friend a girl could ever have!
6) My grandparents. I still have both sets and while I can't understand one half I am thankful that they have supported me for most of my life.
7) My mom. We fight. We yell. We give each other the silent treatment. Yup, I'm thankful for that!
8) My dad. We have the best conversations! "Father!" "Daughter!" "Father!" "Daughter!" We do that for hours on end ha
9) My smelly brothers. Patrick-we don't get along the best but when we do he's great to be around. Alex-he's the only sibling willing to belt out some country songs in the car. James- we went from the worst relationship to the best. I love his "I love you little sister!" texts :-)
10) Joshua. I was there when he was born and watched him take his first steps.
11) My kittens. All 5 of them. I'm thankful that my 14 year old cats are still with us!
12) My ability to swim.
13) All the people who have walked into my life and have changed it in some positive way.
14) The missionaries. They are so patient with me and understand ever piece of nonsense that comes out of my mouth!
15) The LDS church. I'm not LDS but I attend it. I'm part of the YSL Westminster Ward and it has been great.
16) My neat freak-ness. It's gotten in the way at times but I love that I can be organized and relieve some stress!
17) Being in Utah! I have been in Washington for 18 almost 19 years and it was such a treat to be out on my own.
18) My health. And modern technology. Fingers crossed I don't get the cold or flu this season!
19) Great grandpa Valdez. 91 years old. And still feeding his Blue Jays.
20) My trials. Many have left me hitting the ground real hard and still more to come but I have learned from them and or have become a stronger person because of them.
21) The Hayden family. They all are pretty much amazing!

There are so many things that I am thankful for! The list could go on and on!

Special Deliveries

I have a new cousin!!! He was born yesterday (November 3rd, 2011) and was 7 pounds 9 ounces. I don't get to see him or hold him for a long time tho :( That part is a bummer. I think I cried all day yesterday because I wasn't going to get to hold him or see him. November 1st, 2011 a family friend also had her baby girl. Kinda basically family, we have known them for a very long time...

Kinley

Logan

Logan Louis

Some bling bling

Kinley and her brothers

both babies

Anxiously Waiting!!!

This is the FIRST time I won't be able to see a new cousin right after they are born...In fact I won't see them til they are a couple of months old :/ That's depressing. I have been waiting for baby Logan since my Aunt Erin was like 5 weeks along! For a baby that was a headache at the beginning he sure is loved by lots! I got him, along with his older brother and sister, Westminster shirts :) I am so excited to take that picture with all of them. I sure do miss them tons and tons. My aunt was supposedly supposed to be induced today...I haven't heard anything about that yet. Hopefully everything goes good. If he is born tonight he will have the same Birthday as my Uncle and if he is born tomorrow he will have the same birthday as my cousin :) Poor guy, doesn't get his own birthday... I told him to come 3 weeks ago when I was in WA-he already doesn't listen to me :) And to add to it, my aunt's friend who became a family friend and had her daughter today too!!!! Lots of new babies in the family :) I'm soooooooo excited!

Sleepover!!!

Last night we had my roommate, Katie's, birthday party! It was a blast and then Brooke, Meagan, Patrick, Nick, Corey, Jack, Zack, Sofie, Sam and I all made crepes at like midnight! Once all the guys left and Katie came home from her friend's place downstairs, Brooke and Meagan stayed the night and we watched Hope Floats! It was good, I fell asleep once my head hit the pillow! Then at about 4:30 this morning Brooke and I moved off of the couch, since my back was killing me and we fell asleep in my bed. Surprisingly you can fit two people in a twin size bed comfortably. She is a blanket hog though!!! We then woke up close to 11 and had some omelets! YUM! Then we got our hair cut and finally did some homework! I love these two, we have SO much fun together!

It was a Halloween Party...IDK what I was, I wasn't feeling too good that day so I just threw on a dress and my tiara from my birthday!

And Sofie was a giant baby!

The (not so) marvelous picture taker!

The dinamic trio!

Sam and Nick

The birthday girl!

:)

This was this morning! I'm the one still asleep by the window lol!

Home Sweet Home

Last week I was able to go home to Washington for a little bit! It was a complete surprise and i had such fun surprising everyone!!! My favorites were my teacher, Senora Robinson, my cousin Maddi and my mom. I didn't get home til about 3:30am and snuck into the house. Fell asleep in my old bed, after removing everything on top of it since my room was clearly the storage room. I slept in, and no one knew I was home!!! It was great. I got ready, went and got some flowers and went to my mom's school. She wasn't there though...However I found her at some random restaurant!!! I stalked her car and made sure it was hers (there is a huge dent from my car...she ran into MINE). I walked in and then out within 5 minutes-off to surprise my cousin Maddi! I hid in her closet and as she got off the bus she came into her room and I screamed "MADDI!!!" Her eyes lit up and it was awesome! I got a HUGE hug and she is already up to my shoulder...and she is 5 years old! I am either small or she is going to be tall! Then that same day I went to my old middle school and my former Spanish teacher screamed when she saw me! I also enjoyed surprising my cousin Kaylee! She screamed as I hid in the back of her mom's car!!!

Throughout the weekend we had a family dinner (dun dun dun duuuuuunnnn-lol) at my grandma's house. Lots and lots of tacos! I think I ate 3 or 4 and then some pie :) I also found some kitties there! I also went top a swim meet for my sister in Yakima (made it as she was diving in on the last event) and then my brother who goes to a college in Washington was also in Yakima for Karate. I went there and then DQ with my aunt Wanda, Kaylee, and Megan's family! It was great-just like old times!!!

There were some rough spots along the way during the trip but I am glad to be home...in Utah even though I love it in Washington.

Baby kitten I found!!!

Another kitten!

Maddi Moo!

"Can I hold him yet??"(Maddi)......."Hold on!"(Me)

A sister

Uncle Chris

This is what happens when I accidentally leave my camera out

COUSINS!!!!

Maddi again

Kobe and Grace

Footsies I got them :)

Part of our love hate relationship is that he slams the door on me :)

Just finished swimming...time for Karate

That's as hilly as it gets in WA

Such a cutie!

Haha ok so this picture was just taken...I wasn't paying attention but my face says "who's baby are you???"

We were doing push up...more like I was for her while she played on my phone :)

Looking at pictures of herself...I don't think she likes that one

OPEN WIDE!!!